What happens when Chuck Norris becomes a tax accountant? Here’s a glimpse into how the legendary action star handles the complex world of tax compliance and planning.
Contents
IRS Relations
- When Chuck Norris files a tax return, the IRS sends him a thank you note.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t respond to IRS notices. The IRS responds to Chuck Norris notices.
- When Chuck Norris calls the IRS, he doesn’t wait on hold. The hold music waits for him.
- Chuck Norris’s tax positions are so strong, the IRS updates its regulations to match them.
- When Chuck Norris performs a tax audit, the IRS asks for his autograph.
International Tax Mastery
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need to understand transfer pricing. Transfer pricing understands Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris files Form 5471, foreign corporations report themselves.
- Chuck Norris’s tax treaties write themselves.
- When Chuck Norris calculates GILTI, it comes out innocent.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need to worry about Subpart F. Subpart F worries about Chuck Norris.
Tax Season Supremacy
- Chuck Norris finished all his tax returns by January 2nd. Including extensions.
- When Chuck Norris prepares a return, source documents organize themselves.
- Chuck Norris’s clients never miss tax deadlines. Tax deadlines miss Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris does tax planning, future laws adjust to his strategies.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need tax preparation software. The software needs Chuck Norris.
Research and Planning
- Chuck Norris’s tax research is so thorough, it answers questions that haven’t been asked yet.
- When Chuck Norris interprets tax law, the law rewrites itself for clarity.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need to check for recent tax developments. Tax developments check with Chuck Norris first.
- When Chuck Norris creates tax planning strategies, even the IRS asks for copies.
- Chuck Norris’s tax memos are so convincing, they become revenue rulings.
State and Local Tax
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need nexus studies. States establish nexus with Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris files state returns, all states become tax-friendly.
- Chuck Norris’s apportionment calculations are so perfect, states adopt them as standard.
- When Chuck Norris handles sales tax, every transaction becomes exempt.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about economic nexus thresholds. Economic nexus thresholds worry about Chuck Norris.
Client Relations
- Chuck Norris’s clients never have missing documents. Documents find themselves.
- When Chuck Norris sends tax organizers, they return themselves completed.
- Chuck Norris’s tax projections are so accurate, reality adjusts to match them.
- When Chuck Norris explains tax law to clients, even the tax code starts making sense.
- Chuck Norris’s engagement letters sign themselves.
Technical Excellence
- Chuck Norris’s basis calculations are never wrong. Basis adjusts itself to match his numbers.
- When Chuck Norris calculates depreciation, assets appreciate in fear.
- Chuck Norris can make passive activities active just by looking at them.
- When Chuck Norris handles cryptocurrency transactions, even the blockchain provides documentation.
- Chuck Norris’s like-kind exchanges are so perfect, they become unlike-kind out of respect.
Professional Development
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need CPE credits. CPE credits need Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris takes the Enrolled Agent exam, the exam passes Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris’s tax update seminars predict future tax law changes.
- When Chuck Norris reads tax publications, they update themselves.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need to maintain professional competency. Professional competency maintains Chuck Norris.
